The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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