and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
