Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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