one word: firstdatebathroomanal
no, he came in my armpit
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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