We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
