is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
