i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
