You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
