If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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