I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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