I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
