i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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