I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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