it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
