I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
