Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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