Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
love makes seman taste better
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
