i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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