You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They took my balls.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
