Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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