Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
