just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
