Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
