is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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