Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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