good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
