P.S. I can't hear my feet
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
