Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
