Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
