Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
