Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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