gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
