Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
