do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was like eating out sand paper
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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