I CAN MOONWALK!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
