.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
