There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize