I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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