this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
