I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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