Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
