Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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