He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Alive.
So much puke
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
