pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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