I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
