That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
