she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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