apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
