I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
