We named our party play list daddy issues
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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