whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
