my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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