Are we in a gay sports bar?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
