Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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