Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
