There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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