bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
