mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
