This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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