u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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