Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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