Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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