I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
