'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
