we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
